Dictionary

I will be updating this from time to time so please come back often (or maybe not).

12 and out – Suggestions for TV shows that had great concepts but where doomed to shoot their wad in the first 12 episodes. British television is good for series that last only 6 or 12 episodes and then they’re done forever or at least for the season; and no one’s guaranteed a job, no matter how popular they are, like the show Spooks (aka MI-5). American television grows attached to people though and FX had figured out how to make that work by writing 12 solid episodes and calling it a season, rather than dragging it out for the usual 22. A good example of this are shows like Rescue Me and In Plain Sight.

BPUM – Black People’s User Manual. If you’re black and didn’t get one, it should be coming in the mail. If not, I think Oprah has some extra copies.

CAB – Crazy Ass Bitch!

CAS – Crazy Ass Shit!

Dale’s not THAT dead – So here’s the story:
Some CAB (see above) that I told to burn in hell and loose my number called me after she heard Dale Earnhardt died because she thought I’d be sad and maybe looking for someone to talk to. I love Dale. Ask anyone who knows me. But this CAB was the inspiration for me coming up with the phrase CAB and while have to admit I thought about it for half a second, when I stepped back and took a breath, I realized, Dale wasn’t THAT dead!

FAB – Fuck a Bitch (My personal favorite)

FAN – Fuck a Nicca!

FAS – Funny Ass Shit!

Hispanial – A person of Spanish decent. Meant to sound as stupid and racist as the word Hispanic and is used to describe a person from a predominately Spanish speaking country or island or whatevah. And according to the 2010 American Community Survey includes: Hispanic, Latino, Spanish, Mexican, Mexican American, Chicano, Puerto Rican, Cuban, Argentinean, Colombian, Dominican, Nicaraguan, Salvadoran, Spaniard and so on.

Lost My Driver (as it pertains to Dale): He’s not actually “lost“. I know where he is. He’s just not driving anymore (at least not on this plain of existence).

KMA – Kiss My Ass

KMAIH – Kiss My Ass in Hell (See Comcast, TCF Bank)

Kool - Much cooler than cool. Kinda Kosmic. (credited to Kyle Petty/Mello Yello commercial)

Mortal Television – “Broadcast” television (i.e. ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, CW, WPIX, PBS)

My Brother In Law (MBIL) – OK . I know “technically” that if I’m an only child, my brother-in-law couldn’t possibly BE my brother-in-law but play Vin Diesel is my “virtual ex” and Gary Dourdan is my “husband”, Albert can be my brother-in-law if I say so. Just play along. He does. And if you can’t – see KMA!

Nicca – a less offensive way to say spearchucker or people of African decent.

Obama Math - Pay attention. Write it down. I’m only going to say it once.

Black is the new terrorist, Bi-Racial’s the new black.

There I said it! Since it’s racist to call middle eastern people terrorist, the media has tried to get us to believe that terrorists are not only home-grown, but living in Compton. This minus 12, divided by the square root of 3, leaves black up for grabs and that’s how bi-racial became the new black.

RLN13 – It’s actually RLN#13. I started using it to sign things after Rusty Wallace signed something for me using RW#2. For those who don’t know and “cain’t aks nobody”, it’s his initials and the number of the NASCAR Winston Cup car he drove. I figured if I was a NASCAR driver or car owner, my car number would be 13 (duh).

TNI – That Nicca Ira

Woosah – What you usually say to stop yourself from kicking someone’s ass! A quote by Martin Lawrences’ character, Marcus Burnett, to Will Smith’s character, Mike Lowery, in Bad Boys II.

YTH – Why the Fuck! like What the Fuck! and Who the Fuck!